Fangirls Gone Too Far
by strawberrycannibal
Summary: The boho'a have been taken into custody for murder! But what happens when its just two obsessed fangirl policemen? Continued on request and cowritten with missxflawless
1. Angel

my screwed up fanfic, lol, enjoy, i was bored, kassie (missxflawless) were talking about questions we would ask Angel lol.

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The meeting commenced as obsessed teenage fangirls, Kassie and Marcina, held the late Angel Dumott Schunard in custody, claiming the sexy drag queen was a suspect for a 'murder'. The boho's were confused as why the police would have suspicions on Angel? Collins was worried as he paced the front of the station.

The two officers opened the door to the interrogation room and watched Angel look completely and utterly confused.

"Ma'am, I dont understand my reason for being here..."She spoke before the officers could say anything.

"Please be quiet, Ms. Schunard, the quicker we ask the questions, the quicker you may leave," Marcina said. Though she squealed at Kassie excitedly who squealed back. Angel was befuddled. The cops controlled their behavior.

"First question, Ms. Schunard, boxers or briefs?" Kassie asked.

"Box- but why?"

"Ms. Schunard...," Marcina said warningly.

"Boxers," She sighed. Marcina nodded smiling and scribbled gaily.

"Next question, do you like cheese?" Marcina asked. Kassie sighed.

"Yes," Angel answered, giving up.

"Me too, in fact, whats your favorite cheese? do you eat cheese alot-!" Marcina jabbered

"Marcina-" Kassie interrupted.

"It's important to me!" Marcina shrieked. Kassie shook her head and continued.

"Ms. Schunard, KY or regular lubricant?" She asked.

"WTF?"Angel said. Marcina shrieked.

"OMG, you know chatspeak, NFW!" Kassie sat her down.

"SU, now, Angel, the answer..."

"KY!" The girl yelled. Kassie sat her down and hugged her.

"It's okay, Angel," She said. Angel freaked.

"I get that, let me go please," Angel spoke softly.

"NEVER!"Kassie cried her battle cry. Marcina ran and calmed her down.

"It's ok, breathe," Kassie breathed slowly.

"I'll continue, Ms. Schunard, top or bottom?" Marcina asked.

"top," She muttered.

"Excuse me?" She questioned.

"TOP, I LIKE TO TOP, I LIKE TO TOP OKAY!" Angel was losing her temper quickly, which the rarest thing in the world. Marcina sniffled.

"Sowwy," She said.

"Last question, Ms. Schunard, would you ever have sex with a girl?" Kassie asked. Angel lost it.

"WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH A MURDER INVESTIGATION?!"She yelled. Marcina and Kassie ran from the room.

"SCARY ANGEL, RUUUUN!" They ran past Collins and out the door. Angel walked over to Collins.

"Hey, baby, what happened in there?" He asked lovingly.

"Nothing, except the realization I should get leeway to commit murder after going through that!"


	2. Collins

heres the continuation, hope you enjoy Claire, i do not own any of the lovely boho's, though i wouldnt mind getting them signed over to me, hehe. anyway lets continue.

Collins walked in nervously, Angel had already been questioned and according to the gorgeous drag goddess, these officers weren't exactly sane. Kassie and Marcina were seated at the table and watched him, they had a more complicated questioning in store. Collins sat down and the questioning began.

"Mr. Collins, are you aware your name is Tom Collins?" Marcina asked. He was bewildered.

"It would odd if I didn't." He answered, eager to not lose his cool like Angel.

"No, what would be odd is that people drink you, did you know that?!" The girl shrieked. Collins jumped back and Kassie patted her arms.

"Easy, Marcina, next question, Mr. Collins...do you masturbate?" She asked. The look on Collins's face was priceless.

"Ummm...sometimes...but only to Wilson's...I MEAN...Angel's picture." His face became bright red. Kassie jumped up.

"Aha! Who's Wilson, huh? Are you cheating on Angel?!" she yelled. Marcina grabbed the girl and quickly reminded her in hushed tones that Wilson was the actor who was Angel. Kassie calmed and Marcina took over.

"Tom, if I may call you that because I do not like to refer to the accused as alcoholic beverages," He went to open his mouth but she continued before he could say anything," Would you ever harm the lovely, beautiful, radiant-"

"-perfect-"

"-stunning-"

"-dazzling, Angel?"

"Of course not!" He raged, annoyed. Marcina jumped back.

"Kassie, your turn." Kassie looked at him.

"Do you plan to drink yourself to a stupor when Angel dies?" Kassie asked. Collins was surprised and upset.

"Angel's going to-to die?!" He questioned, hurt.

"No, no, no, she doesn't, where on earth would you get that idea, now next question-" Kassie stuttered.

"But, you just said-"

"NEXT QUESTION...Marcina,"

"Ummm...okay, Mr. Collins, is there anyway, Ms. Schunard is your brother?" She asked. He raised an eyebrow.

"Uhhh...no"

"You sure?"

"Obviously, otherwise, that's just sick." He pointed out. Marcina jumped on the table.

"THEN HOW COULD YOU LIE TO MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WHO TRUSTED YOU, WHEN YOU SAID ANGEL WAS YOUR BROTHER, THEY BELIEVED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kassie grabbed Marcina and dragged her out. Collins took this as a sign, grabbed his jacket and ran out, into the arms of Angel.

"Collins, are you okay?" She asked eagerly.

"Angel, love, have you ever done something against the United States?"

"No, never, why? She asked appalled.

"Because getting deported right now, and me following would be a good thing, who in their right mind lets teenagers interview people, I had no idea what they're questions had to do with the murder." Collins spoke. Angel nodded.

"I know, let's get out of here," Angel said.

"What about us?" Mimi asked. Collins turned to them and saluted.

"Good luck." Collins said as he and Angel ran out.


	3. Roger

omg, so sorry it took me forever to update, but i am updating now, so YAY! hehe. I do not own Angel and I do not own Marky, though they are on my xmas list. All ze characters are property of Almighty Larson, but i do own myself and Kassie owns herself...hopefully she hasn't sold herself yet to Wilson Jermaine Heredia, though i would gladly do so... anyway continuing

Roger walked in, annoyed, wanting to get this over with. Kassie jittered excitedly while Marcina was knitting a Marky Scarfy. Roger sat down.

"Hello, I am Roger Davies..."He started. Kassie jumped up.

"AHA!" She yelled. He was taken back.

"Aha?" He asked. She smiled

"I told Marcina those plaid pants would look hot on you," Marcina hits her head on the table.

Kassie then walked over to Roger and hugged him, he was bewildered.

"What was that for?" He asked.

"Please stop angsting, please!" She cried, Marcina came over and dragged her off, handing her a tissue.

"Easy," She then turned to Roger"Mr. Davies, what size pants do you wear, where do you shop?"

Roger looked at her. Kassie sniffled.

"That has nothing to do..."

"ANSWER ZE QUESTION MEESTER DAVIES!" Marcina yelled.

"American Eagles and a six," Kassie snorted.

"What?" He asked.

"With that cute ass, I doubt it," Marcina and Kassie went into a fit of giggles. Roger was confused.

"Next question, do you like carrots, and have you been framed?" Kassie asked.

"No and no," He said.

"LIAR!" She yelled. Roger shrank back, scared.

"Have you had sexual relations with Mark Cohen or Angel Schunard?" Marcina demanded.

"What no! One. Mark's my best friend and Two. Collins would murder me!" He yelped. Marcina was thoughtful.

"So you WOULD have sexual relations with Angel Schunard?" She asked slyly. Roger went red. Kassie and Marcina went into a fit of giggles.

"Last question, Mr. Davies, if you are not indeed a rabbit who likes carrots and was framed, why do you angst?" Kassie demanded.

"I got AIDS from my dead girlfriend, April," He said sadly, causing Kassie to hug him again and offer him a carrot. Roger grimaced and exited the room. Mimi was concerned.

"How did it go?" She asked.

"I felt like I had entered the Twilight Zone..."He spoke.

sorry its short, ran out of ideas, referenced is Jedi Master Arie Skywalker's"The Roger Theories" go read it.


	4. Mimi

i'm back, i guess you know whos getting interviewed this time...thats right 'they call her they call her, Mimi!"...hehe, okay im weird, shall we begin? okay...

Mimi walked in and sat down, crossing her legs. Kassie looked at her in awe while Marcina glared at the dancer. Marcina coughed and made a sound that sounded like 'slut'. Mimi glared and the interview started. Marcina stood.

"Mimi Marquez, if that is indeed your real name, what were you doing between 10 and 12 last night?" Marcina asked. Mimi was comforted, Roger, Angel, and Collins made it sound like hell. But then she blushed when she realized what she HAD been doing during that time.

"Me and Roger...were...were...making love," She blushed deeper. Kassie looked at Marcina.

"See, I told you, you owe me five bucks," Marcina scowled and handed the money over. Mimi was shocked. Marcina then turned back to her.

"Ms. Marquez,what kind of cheese does Angel like?" She asked.

"Cheddar..." She whispered, confused as hell. Marcina scribbled excitedly. Kassie jumped in and hugged her and Marcina wondered vaguely why she didnt call her Huggy MsHugsalot. Mimi hugged her back awkwardly. Marcina continued.

"Mimi, are you well aware that you really don't have the best ass below 14th Street?" She asked. Kassie looked at her.

"YOU LIE!!!" She yelled. Marcina glared.

"No, I don't, we all agreed Angel had the best ass," Marcina countered. Kassie thought a moment and smiled.

"Okay" she sat down and munched on cheezits. Mimi was close to hysterics.

"Okay, Miss Marquez, have you ever used a dildo?" Marcina asked. Mimi was confused.

"But that-"

"DAMNIT GIRL, ANSWER THE EFFIN QUESTION!"

"But-"

"DO YOU WANT TO GO TO JAIL?"

"NO!"

"NO, I DONT WANT TO GO TO JAIL!"

"SO YOUVE USED A DILDO!"

"YES!"

"YES YOU WANT TO GO TO JAIL?"

"NO DAMNIT!"

"MAKE UP YOUR MIND WOMAN!" Kassie smiled amused and continued munching on cheezits. Mimi was confused beyond words and just sat there.

"Okay, last question, does Angel look hot naked?" Marcina asked. Mimi shrugged

"Would not know, havent seen her, why are all these questions about Angel-" Marcina waved her away.

"That'll be all"

"But-"

"Honestly, no one wants to hear the ramblings of a ho, who cant make up her mind on whether she's talking about dildos or jail, so bye!" All of a sudden, out of nowhere a huge frying pan came down and hit Mimi on the head. Kassie jumped up.

"WTF?!" She screamed. Marcina hit her head and yelled at the Marcina typing the story.

"You are one evil woman" she said. I smile and laugh. Kassie was shocked.

"Who was that?" She asked.

"Marcina"

"How was it you?"

"The Marcina typing the story"

"How many Marcinas are there"

"Too many, now quick, help me move this body before we get into deeper shit..."

lol, hope you enjoyed, haha. As you can see, I dont like Mimi and Kassie does so, hehe sorry Kass.


	5. Joanne

this one will probably not be as funny because im trying to get it done because i have other ideas im working on so enjoy.

Joanne walked in rather nervous, as everyone else was, and who can blame her? She sat down in the chair across from Kassie and Marcina. Kassie stood to go hug her but found herself handcuffed to the chair so she would stop hugging everybody. After cussing Marcina out, the interview began.

"First question, Ms. Jefferson, do you like women in rubber?"Kassie asked randomly. Joanne looked at her.

"Miss, I can assure you-" Joanne began.

"Ms. Jefferson, have you ever gone down on Ms. Johnson?" Marcina asked.

"I really don't-"

"Next question, have you ever you know had sex with Mark, i don't know, to make the readers mad?" Kassie asked. Joanne.

"Readers, what?" She was confused, first of all they werent going to let her answer the questions, next they were talking about readers, now she really was confused.

"Okay,would you make it with Angel,"

"No, I am a lesbian and Angel is a guy-"

Kassie and Marcina gasped and they both jumped on the table. Well, Marcina did, Kassie was still handcuffed and I gave her more cheezits.

"You will never ever never ever never ever-..."

**15 minutes later**

"...never ever never never refer to Angel as male, Angel likes being a female and will be respected as such." She finished falling into her chair while Kassie tipped the box over, annoyed that the box was empty. Joanne sighed.

"You finished?"

"Yes," Marcina said.

"You sure?"

"Absolutely,"

Marcina tried to speak.

"Ahh,"

"Sorry" Kassie watched the exchange silently, once again graced by the presence of another box of cheezits because the Marcina writing the story feels sorry she handcuffed her to a chair.

"Okay, Ms. Jefferson, have you ever met the devil?" Marcina's eyes went wild and wide.

"Uh, no, why?"

"Well, it says here that you danced a tango to hell, you know, I thought maybe he might have looked like my cousin, you know..."

Joanne sighed.

"Ms. Jefferson..."

"Joanne,"

"Joanne, did you 'tango' with the ambassador's daughter?" Joanne obviously didn't understand.

"Well, yes," Kassie and Marcina burst into laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, nothing," Kassie spoke.

Marcina walked over to Joanne and smiled.

"Because of you, i'll measure my life in love," Kassie sighed.

"And you think i'm deranged for hugging them, Marcina, sit down," Marcina frowned and did as she was told, sniffling. Joanne stood

"I think its time I go." Joanne said and left. Marcina turned to Kassie.

"So, you think they're real?"

"Probably, do you know fake boobs that look like that?"

"No, and what about that ass?"

"Hot, hot, definitely hot," The Marcina writing the story smacks them both.

"She's hot! We get it! Now get back to the story!"I yelled

"SHUT UP!" They both yelled at me.

okay its short, and probably only funny to me, sorry but hey Maureens coming up, now thatll be funny lol.


	6. Maureen

yay, im back, and after this, i have some ideas of what to do next, ill put up a poll if in the end i really cant decide :), so here it is, enjoy.

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Maureen walked in and sat in the chair like all of the other bohemians before her and smiled at Kassie. Kassie smiled back at her, Maureen winked and Kassie blew a kiss. Marcina got annoyed.

"Alright, alright, Ms.Johnson, how many people have you actually slept with?"Kassie asked.

"32."

"Say what?!"

"32!"

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

"Would you like it to be 33?"

"What?!"

"What?"

"...nothing." Marcina hit her head on the desk.

"Alright, next question, do you have your nipples pierced?"

"Well, I wanted to, but my girlfriend didn't want it,"

"Ooookay, next question-" Marcina began to continue.

"Wait!" Kassie interrupted.

"What?"

"Ms. Johnson, you would look shmexy with your nipples pierced," Kassie replied. Marcina was shocked but nodded.

"She would, wouldn't she?"

Maureen was confused. Kassie continued.

"Maureen are you sisters with Joanne?"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Maureen roared.

"For crying out loud, does NOBODY tell the truth anymore?" Marcina asked.

"I know right!" Kassie agreed.

"Next question, wtf is a pookie?" Marcina asked, genuinely curious.

"The person who i'm dating," Maureen replied matter-of-factly.

"Okay to be honest, I don't want to know the origin of that..."Marcina trailed off.

"Last question, Ms. Johnson, have you ever 'jumped over the moon'?" Kassie raised her eyes suggestively. Maureen caught the hint.

"Quite a few times actually."

"Want to do it again?"

"Do I?!" She leaped over the table and kissed Kassie. They both ran into the next room. Marcina sighed.

"I'd like to call that in as sexual harassment, but I fear Kassie would kill me for it," She muttered and then proceeded to talk to me.

"So, Kassie gets laid,"

"Yep," I reply.

"And I don't."

"Nope."

"So I don't get a sexy hottie?"

"Not in this lifetime."

"Not even Mark?"

"Does that bother you?"

And the shouting match continued.

1 HOUR LATER

Maureen walked back in with Kassie, kissed her and left. Kassie was happy, then she noticed Marcina was yelling at the Marcina writing the story. Kassie shook her head.

"You know, if you continue talking to yourself, people'll start to wonder."

there you have it, lol, I hope Kassie enjoys too, and Kassie, again, i sowwy for being a total and complete bitch :(. Will update soon, BYE!


	7. Mark

i feel like updating again, YAY! :)

/

Kassie was in a good mood(who wouldn't be after that?) and Marcina was aggravated because she wasn't allowed to have sex. They both anxiously waited for Mark to enter and enter he did with his camera in hand. Kassie went over and hugged while Marcina serious contemplated handcuffing her again. Mark looked at Kassie weirdly and sat down. Kassie squealed and ran back to Marcina, the questioning began.

"Mark Cohen, do you love your camera?"

"Yes."

"Are you in love with your camera?"

"...No."

"But, but, Kassie and I want Marky and Camera slash...unless your camera is a girl," Marcina said. Kassie rolled her eyes and went back to Mark, who was probably wondering where the nearest escape was.

"Mr. Cohen, Marky giggle, please tell you have not slept with Roger or Benny, because seriously, i'm getting tired of hearing it," Mark was taken back.

"What?! Of course not!"

"See I told you!" Kassie gloated in front of Marcina who all of a sudden jumped up triumphantly.

"Aha! Your camera is a hermaphrodite!" She cried happily. Kassie sighed, irritated and handed Marcina a cheez-it, which she munched on happily. Mark meanwhile was scared. Marcina stood.

"Marky, how long have you been a quirky albino?"

"Say what?"

"How-long-hace-you-been-a-quirky-albino?" She asked.

"I've been albino all my life..." Marcina smiled.

"It's okay, Pookie." She smiled while handing him a cheez-it. Kassie stood there and wondered if she could take Mark to the back room.

"Please don't call me Pookie."

"Alright, Mr. Cohen, i'm assuming you masterbate."Kassie pointed out and Mark's face went red.

"Well...I-I, it well, ummm,"He stuttered. Marcina hugged him

"Tell us!"

"Sometimes."

Marcina then let go and pranced away happily. Kassie pulled her, annoyed.

"Last question, Mr. Cohen, are you insane or have you gone mad?" Kassie asked.

"Of course not." He argued. Marcina rolled her eyes.

"You know, we should just convict them all for lying, I mean, why sing it if it's not true?" Kassie nodded in agreement. Marcina smiled and grabbed Mark and before I could do anything about, dragged him off to the back room.

1 Hour Later

Mark came out smiling, due to the fact he hadn't gotten laid in a while. Kassie was sitting there bored. Marcina smiled at me evilly.

"I got laid, haha, how do you like me now bitch?"She asked. Mark leaned in and whispered to Kassie.

"Who's she talking to?" Kassie shrugged. Mark grabbed his camera and walked out.

"Bye, Pookie!" Marcina called after him.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

/

Hope you enjoyed, sorry if there are typos, I wrote this at like, 6 in the morning, lol, anyway, review please. :)


	8. Benny

yay, the second to last chapter, hope you enjoy, sorry this is so short, but its short for a reason.

/

Benny walked into the room, convinced that all of the other boho's overexaggerated. He sat down and the two cops walked into the room, very annoyed. Kassie didn't even go over and give him a hug, yeah it was that bad. Marcina looked at Benny.

"Mr. Coffin..."She started laughing," Coffin, hehe." Kassie smacked her and continued.

"Mr. Coffin, tell me about the Akita named Evita." She demanded harshly.

"Well, my wife, Allison, bought an annoying little Akita named Evita and-" He looked around, Kassie and Marcina were laying their heads on the table and snoring, but as soon as he stopped they jerked awake.

"Umm, thanks, now Mr. Coffin, how's Mimi Marquez in bed?" Kassie asked and Marcina smacked her.

"But, but, Marcina, I really need to know this," She said pouting.

"No you do not, Mr. Coffin, that will be all," Marcina said.

"What, that's it?"

"Yep, but, why?"

"Because, well, no one likes you." Kassie smiled, picked up Benny and threw him out the door.

"BYE MR.GRAVE!"Marcina called waving.

/

Sorry its so short, but there is a reason :). Last chapter coming soon. Please review.


	9. Final Verdict

YAY, LAST CHAPTER WOOHOO, some are happy, some are sad, but dont worry, there will more stories to come, so anyway, here we go.

/

Court was in session, The boho's were seated in the front row and both Kassie and Marcina were the judge, with the squeegee man as the bailiff. Kassie waved to Maureen and she waved back, receiving a brief glare from Joanne.

"Has the jury reached a verdict?"Kassie asked. The Man (yes, THE Man) stood up and began reading from a slip of paper.

"We have, we find the person who killed Evita the Akita was-"

"Benjamin Coffin III." Marcina finished. The Man went to object. but Marcina gave him the 'eye' and he sat back down. Benny, however, stood up.

"I didn't kill my wife's dog, Angel did!" He cried. Kassie and Marcina contemplated.

"True-"

"-but everyone loves Angel and nobody likes you, Sheriff Squeegee, take ze evil bulldog away!" Marcina demanded happily, finding more cheez-its for her and Kassie to munch on. Squeegee Man went over and whacked Benny on the head and dragged him away, triumphantly. Everyone cheered.

Later on, everyone was talking and Mark noticed Angel and Collins were missing, he turned to Roger.

"Where's Angel and Collins?" Mark asked. Roger sighed.

"Well apparently, Angel and Collins tried to illegally go into Mexico to escape to urge to kill said judges, but they got caught, and well, let's just say instead of doing time, they're entertaining the judges..."

/

Yes I know it was short, but i hoped you enjoyed the ending, I really honestly did not know what to do with this chapter, if you think i should add anything else, just message me :). Anyway, later, and look out for a new fanfic soon.


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